Going shopping yesterday was a deeply emotional journey.

First, I woke up four years ago and my body stopped moving like it was supposed to.

And yesterday I went shopping for the first time and my body doesn't look the way it's supposed to.

Who is this person in the mirror?

Swollen from FOUR YEARS of lockdown, plump with prednisone and a myriad of medications; stuffed with pudding to help me swallow the pills when I couldn't move my head or tilt my neck?

Well, none of that matters now. While my friends on Facebook post pictures of their new Cartier watches and their children reaching lifetime milestones, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, High School Graduations, College Acceptance Letters…

I look down at my wrist and I'm not sporting a tennis bracelet. I'm wearing an emergency medic alert band that's monitored 24/7 so I can live independently and I LOVE IT.

I can't say I don't wonder how my life might have been different if I had gone a different route, but when I was in the hospital fighting with everything I had and ever will have to walk again, I thanked my lucky stars EVERY DAY that I didn't have children to worry about.

So as you watch your children take their first steps and leap into this big wondrous world before them, I too am taking my first steps back into society and starting a new rehab program.

After several serious neurosurgeries and a stay at the Miami Project to cure paralysis, il back at home and finally receiving the level of services I need.

I am extremely grateful that I am able to live independently and I can feel my hands again!! The dexterity and mobility have returned though my handwriting is quite awful. I'm able to braid my hair again and it is as long and beautiful as it always was.

I may not fit into that perfect size 6 or recognize my own shadow, but if you look into my eyes, you can see I'm still there.

I have at least one major surgery coming up that will take me off my feet for 4-6 months and I'm DREADING it but I'll never be able to walk properly without it. But first! I'm going to Bermuda to celebrate my 50th Birthday with family and friends.

I'm so excited and can't wait to swim in the caves with the jelly fish 🐟 angel fish and go parasailing over the ocean.

I may not be able to walk very well, but I can swim and in the water I am free!! So all of those years on the Swim Team at LMT paid off.

In the water I am FREE 🤿

Here we go again.

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