Monday, September 28, 2020

Elyssa’s Mission~ Suicide Prevention

 




"Asked once why he wanted to be a writer, he responded: "I knew that I wanted to be a writer because I wanted to do something that had the potential to outlast my own death." -Ned Vizzini 1981-2013
 
Around 9 pm I received a flood of comments (62) on a small site I rarely
use or visit.

It struck me as odd until a dear friend called me just before midnight to tell me that my dear friend, Ned Vizzini  had taken his own life at age 32 leaving behind a small child from his parent's Park Slope home yesterday.

I encourage you to read these comments.  Very interesting and some disturbing. They were from a forum that has not always been kind to me. I publish the bad with the good so you see how cruel and ignorant people can be.

It was an article about someone who committed suicide due to financial stress.

I can relate to that. I am worth more dead than I am alive to many people and will cross post this late post on Barbara's site where I can speak more freely and expect criticism for being a burden on society.

I know what it is like to want to die. To feel that the pain of another 40-50 years is too much to bear.  
 
I am not suicidal but I have been told my life is worthless and I should do the "honorable thing" and end my own life. 
 
It ain't gonna happen. 

I may not be perfect, but I have fought too hard for too long to give up on myself.
 
I'm not easy, but I am not cruel. 

I am just finding my way after living through a horrific event that changed my life forever.
 
I'm not always nice or cheery or lovable but I am honest and probably the most loyal person you will ever meet.
 

Saturday, September 19, 2020

#Karen Part II

That's the "problem" 

Both PTSD and their respective diagnoses (Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissist and lack of insight ~ clinically) means that I'm "triggered" emotionally AND physically with muscle guarding and vascular reactions that cause pain and numbness. 

I did biofeedback when I was at Columbia so I'm AWARE of what's going on but I'm not able to control the physiological response and Karen calling me and my doctors and nurses despite a HIPPA block and a security alert (Good Sam and Psych) doesn't keep her from calling and weaseling her way into my life and since she's so "charming" and tells people she's a social worker, they gave her information, my room number AND my penguin necklace (my favorite thing in the world) and she stole money, FOOD, jewelry and gifts people sent me from and returned them to Amazon and Bed Bath and Beyond and didn't give me the credit and they were special gifts. She disconnected my cell phone several times; withdrew me from school TWICE (when I was 15 and she claims I "ran away" when she mailed you my stuff; changed the locks; quit my job and withdrew me from school without telling me; and twice from Columbia and tried at Vanderbilt) 

She stole gifts from Grandma and Earrings; and Aurora penguin my friend who died from COVID sent from Scotland; Texas; and Kentucky) and it's so far beyond the scope of normal I can't tell you how disturbing it is. 

 I know intellectually that this is beyond fucked up but my body doesn't know and I'm now having terrible symptoms ~ dizziness and profuse sweating just writing this) and Radiology and Neurosurgery is here; so I'm going to leave it at that. 

They i'm going to address the thyroid issue that has come up the glucose the Doppler and electrocardio gram they want to do for my legs and feet however I need to go because I'm having an acute stress response I need to be clearheaded and calm for the evaluations. 

I realize of course you don't need to hear this George does anybody else who comes into my room or the doctors and this prevents me from developing healthy relationships and receiving proper treatment for my physical and psychological issues.

Certainly I need therapy and I need to do mindfulness training again possibly biofeedback but certainly treatment for my PTSD. 

Writing it down or verbalizing it helps me and has been recommended by my previous therapist and the one who treated me when I was 29 and had my first nervous break down. 

you have the ability to control your consciousness and tune her out. I do not and she calls and texts incessantly with total disregard for my boundaries and shows up uninvited. 

 Just quickly to give you a brief Concrete example of her behavior since I've been in the hospital she went to my apartment throughout my couch my bookcase and my desk I've only been here for three days Concrete example of her behavior since I've been in the hospital she went to my apartment throughout my couch my bookcase and my desk I've only been here for three days. 

That's all for now I'm sorry to throw this at you but these are very important thanks if it requires a restraining order I'm prepared to do that but she has no business disposing of my personal items including sign books from my former academic mentors or my friend Ned Vizzini Who committed suicide but dedicated his NY Times best seller, "It's kinda a funny story" Me and gave me an autographed copy. Karen threw it out. That cannot be replaced. 

For Lauren and then her OCD I have no idea what's wrong with her all I know is she's inappropriate and shows really disturbing signs a sibling rivalry I'm too old for that shit. 

This is for both my journal and for when I get into therapy. As you know I wrote a book about Karen and her abuse and exploitation of my physical and emotional condition so that she could get sympathy and adoration from her friends dog sitter and the public at large. 

Have to go now the medical professionals are waiting for me and I'm still in both spasm and sweating profusely. 

Love you and Rita. 

Doing the very best I can. 

Love, 

Liz 📧😘🐧




On Sat, Sep 19, 2020 at 8:18 AM Dad> wrote:
Just Put them out of mind. Nothing good will come from focusing on them.



> On Sep 19, 2020, at 7:55 AM, Liz wrote:



> 

> The psychotic mother person had the nerve to send me photos of her Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) party; didn't wish me a L'Shanah Tovah and then said she was too tired from entertaining to speak to me about the STAT medical testing and referral ordered at 8:47pm last night. 



> Lauren was equally inappropriate and has been "competing" with me and told me she was paralyzed and incontinent from Lyme Disease and it's bizarre, offensive, dismissive and infuriating. 



> But that's why I need a trauma specialist and ganglion block injections. I have a visceral response to their inappropriate behavior and the stress and PTSD triggers muscle spasms which in turn causes muscle guarding and tension affecting my neuro symptoms which both painful and counterproductive for my recovery. 





--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Friday, August 21, 2020

Health Update

Dear Dad and Grandma: 

Dear Dad and Grandma: 

I'm up early with some anxiety. I have a telehealth appointment with my anesthesiologist later. 

She's very good. Trying to get coverage for the nerve blocks. Insurance rejected them and they couldn't do the procedure last week. 

I'm trying to have realistic expectations for the surgery next week. 

‪I'm hoping to be able to move my legs again. ‬

‪When my brain tells my legs to move and step forward, I can only take baby steps. ‬

‪I'd like to be able to walk again. ‬

Keep your fingers crossed. 

Sending love to you both through the interwebz. 

I know you are very busy and that I've told you before how grateful I am for all you've done for me, but I just want to tell you again. 

I love you both. 

Liz




/ed70 


I'm up early with some anxiety. I have a telehealth appointment with my anesthesiologist later. 

She's very good. Trying to get coverage for the nerve blocks. Insurance rejected them and they couldn't do the procedure last week. 

I'm trying to have realistic expectations for the surgery next week. 

‪I'm hoping to be able to move my legs again. ‬

‪When my brain tells my legs to move and step forward, I can only take baby steps. ‬

‪I'd like to be able to walk again. ‬

Keep your fingers crossed. 

Sending love to you both through the interwebz. 

I know you are very busy and that I've told you before how grateful I am for all you've done for me, but I just want to tell you again. 

I love you both. 

Liz




/ed70 
--
Elyssa Durant Research and Policy Analyst

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Cyb toer-attack: Is my computer at risk?

Cyber-attack: Is my computer at risk? - BBC News
Obviously... I just wanna cry


Cyber-attack: Is my computer at risk?

Technology reporter, BBC News
Your PC is at risk screen PA

Experts are warning that there could be further ransomware cases this week after the global cyber-attack. So, what has happened and how can organisations and individuals protect themselves from such attacks?

What is the scale of the attack?

Ransomware - a malicious program that locks a computer's files until a ransom is paid - is not new but the size of this attack by the WannaCry malware is "unprecedented", according to EU police body Europol.

It said on Sunday that there were believed to be more than 200,000 victims in 150 countries. However, that figure is likely to grow as people switch on their computers on Monday if their IT has not been updated and their security systems patched over the weekend.

There are also many other strains of ransomware which cyber-security experts say they are seeing being given new leases of life.

In the UK, the NHS was hit hard, but by Saturday morning the majority of the 48 affected health trusts in England had their machines back in operation. The NHS has not yet revealed what steps it took.

The malware has not proved hugely profitable for its owners so far. The wallets set up to receive ransom payments - $300 (£230) in virtual currency Bitcoin was demanded for each infected machine - contained about $30,000 when seen by the BBC. This suggests that most victims have not paid up.

Is my computer at risk?

WannaCry infects only machines running Windows operating systems. If you do not update Windows, and do not take care when opening and reading emails, then you could be at risk.

However, home users are generally believed to be at low risk to this particular strain.

You can protect yourself by running updates, using firewalls and anti-virus software and by being wary when reading emailed messages.

Regularly back up your data so you can restore files without having to pay up should you be infected, as there is no guarantee that paying the ransom will result in your files being unlocked.

The UK's National Cyber Security Centre website contains advice on how to apply the patch to stop the ransomware - MS17-010 - and what to do if you can't.

How did the attack spread so fast?

The culprit is malware called WannaCry and seems to have spread via a type of computer malware known as a worm.

Unlike many other malicious programs, this one has the ability to move around a network by itself. Most others rely on humans to spread by tricking them into clicking on an attachment harbouring the attack code.

The ransomware has been identified as WannaCry

Once WannaCry is inside an organisation, it will hunt down vulnerable machines and infect them too. This perhaps explains why its impact is so public - because large numbers of machines at each victim organisation are being compromised.

It has been described as spreading like the vomiting bug norovirus.

Why weren't people protected?

In March, Microsoft issued a free patch for the weakness that has been exploited by the ransomware. WannaCry seems to be built to exploit a bug found by the US National Security Agency.

When details of the bug were leaked, many security researchers predicted it would lead to the creation of self-starting ransomware worms. It may, then, have taken only a couple of months for malicious hackers to make good on that prediction.

It was originally thought that a number of victims were using Windows XP, a very old version of the Windows operating system that is no longer supported by Microsoft.

However, according to cyber-security expert Alan Woodward, from Surrey University, the latest statistics suggest this figure is actually very small.

Large organisations have to test that security patches issued by the provider of their operating systems will not interfere with the running of their networks before they are applied, which can delay them being installed quickly.

Who was behind the attack?

It's not yet known, but some experts are saying that it was not particularly sophisticated malware. The "kill switch" that stopped it spreading - accidentally discovered by a security researcher - may have been intended to stop the malware working if captured and put in what's called a sandbox - a safe place where security experts put computer malware to watch what they do - but not applied properly.

Ransomware has been a firm favourite of cyber-thieves for some time as it lets them profit quickly from an infection. They can cash out easily thanks to the use of the Bitcoin virtual currency, which is difficult to trace.

However it's unusual for an expert criminal gang to use so few Bitcoin wallets to collect their ransom demands - as in this case - as the more wallets there are, the more difficult the gang is to trace.



/ed70

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Quest Diagnostics breach: What to do if you may have been affected

Quest Diagnostics breach: What to do if you may have been affected

Quest Diagnostics breach: What to do if you may have been affected

Visit IdentityTheft.gov/databreach to learn what you can do to protect your identity.

Federal Trade Commission

A data breach of one of Quest Diagnostic's billing vendors has left as many as 11.9 million people worried, wondering if their personal and medical information has been compromised. 

On Monday, Quest Diagnostics said that AMCA, a billing collections vendor, informed the company that there had been unauthorized access on AMCA's web payment page and that information from Quest Diagnostics and Optum360 customers may have been compromised.

The information stored on AMCA's affected system includes credit card numbers, bank account information, medical information and personal information, including Social Security numbers.

News of the breach has customers from across the country concerned .

"This is the 2nd time in two years that my information has been affected and it is becoming increasingly frustrating that more isn't being done to protect my personal information and raises another question as to if they really need this information in the first place?" said Will Becker, in an email.

In an email, Edwin Padilla, from Orlando, Florida, asked a reporter if there was a way to find out if he had been affected by the breach. Several other emails asked the reporter the same question.

So what can concerned customers do? Here are a few answers.

Who is affected?

Since Monday, neither Quest nor AMCA has put out a list of those affected or distributed instructions on how to find out if you've been affected.

As the story unfolds, start here.

Don't miss your chance for unlimited digital access to exclusive content.

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However, AMC said that they are planning to send letters to those affected.

"AMCA is sending out letters to affected customers who need to know certain information about their data."

Quest did narrow down the field of those potentially affected, clarifying that AMCA is a vendor used by Optum360, which in turn provides billing services to Quest.

As a collection agency, the individuals who might be impacted would be those who had a potentially "delinquent" account, said Wendy Bost, a spokeswoman for Quest. 

"We're waiting for more information, but to the best of our knowledge, it would be individuals who were late in their payment and are therefore delinquent," she said.

What is Quest doing?

Quest insists that since the security breach was at one of AMCA's systems, they have little information about the breach. 

"Again, we would not be in a position to clarify information on specific individuals as we await more details from AMCA," said Bost.

Quest released a statement on their website summarizing the incident and does provide a general service number, 866-MYQUEST. But if customers call, Quest would not be able to provide information on specific individual's accounts, said Bost.

What is AMCA doing?

Emails to an AMCA spokesperson requesting information on what to do if you have an account with AMCA were not immediately returned.

However, AMCA announced that it would be providing 24 months of credit monitoring to anyone who had a social security number or credit card account compromised, even if the relevant state does not require it.

What can you do?

Those people impacted should consider adding a fraud alert to the credit reporting agencies and a credit freeze, said Darren Hayes, Assistant Professor at Pace University's Seidenberg School of Computer Science and Information Systems.

Email: torrejon@northjersey.com



/ed70

Friday, June 19, 2020

Is Equal Opportunity Just a Myth? – Elyssa D. Durant, © 2012 - 2018

DailyDDoSe: Is Equal Opportunity Just a Myth? – Yahoo! – Elyssa D. Durant, © 2012 - 2018

Is Equal Opportunity Just a Myth?  – Elyssa D. Durant, © 2012 - 2018

In Amazing Grace: The lives of children and the conscience of a nation, (1995) Jonathan Kozol paints a vivid picture of the conditions in the poorest sections of New York City. During the early to mid 1990's, Kozol made several visits to Mott Haven in the South Bronx. As he describes in Amazing Grace, the South Bronx is one of the most severely segregated and poorest Congressional Districts in the United States.

The members of this community have been segregated into a hell plagued with sickness, violence and despair. Kozol argues that this strategic placement serves to isolate the rich from the realities they have thrust upon their fellow man. New Yorkers do not stroll through the streets of Mott Haven, and taxicabs take no short cuts through Beekman Avenue. Many taxicabs will not even venture past East 96th Street. Out of sight is out of mind.

As I was reading Amazing Grace, I remember thinking back to my days living in Manhattan, coincidentally around the same time Kozol conducted his interviews in the South Bronx. I lived in what Kozol refers to as Manhattan's "Liberal West Side," an area that was undergoing rapid transformation and gentrification at the time Mayor Rudolph Giuliani took office.

There is no excuse for the conditions in which these people must live. No person should be forced into an apartment that has a higher ratio of cockroaches and rats than human beings.

In 1995, the American Sociological Association (ASA) held its annual conference in New York City. Prior to that meeting, they sent out a fact sheet that may be of interest to ASA members. In this sheet, they too described the same social conditions and asked their members to take note of the changes that occur at 96th Street. I can assure you that the conditions Kozol describes in his book were not exaggerated.

These children are desperately in need of the best schools, yet we give them the worst. They have few libraries, few safe havens, few doctors, and few role models. They have every reason to believe that they are throwaway children and we have certainly not shown them anything else. The social services we have provided are a bureaucratic nightmare. People in need are treated as sub-human, and made to feel ashamed of being poor.

These are among the sickest children in the world. Americans claim to be dedicated to the children and fool ourselves into believing that we are doing them a favor by providing them with medical care, public education, and public housing. Yet, the quality of their neighborhoods speaks volumes of our sentiment and intentions.

Shortly after Amazing Grace was published, managed care rapidly moved onto the New York scene. Around the same time, the Mayor announced he would be closing some of the hospitals that served the poorest of the poor because of financial problems associated with payment and large trauma departments.

Kozol makes the point that people could attempt to gain admissions at a better hospital than Bronx-Lebanon; yet, the privatization of Medicaid has now made this completely impossible. Further restrictions on medical care are inevitable as the result of Medicaid managed care. The law is not designed to protect these people, and this was made obvious in a recent conversation I had with a friend who practices medicine in New York.

My friend John works as a board certified trauma physician at a private hospital on the Upper East Side. The last black patient he treated at Beth Israel was famed rock singer Michael Jackson. I asked him if he ever gets any asthma patients in his ER. He knew immediately of whom I was speaking. "You mean the kids from the South Bronx?" he asked. He told me that they know better than to show up at Beth Israel. "But if they do?" I asked, and he replied, "We ship them back."

This is the reality. The best doctors treat the wealthiest patients rather than the sickest. Schools educate the best students rather than the neediest. It is no wonder that these children perform poorly in school. By every measure, these children are destined for failure. Their home life is less than enchanting, and they do not benefit from enriched environments and educated parents. Certainly, there are many dedicated parents who care about their children, but is that enough? When I was in school, children frequently asked the teacher, how will this help later in life. In my class, there was an unequivocal reply, but it could be argued that what children in the South Bronx need to learn couldn't be taught in the classroom.

There is no doubt that the prevalence of violence in urban neighborhoods affects the ability of children to perform well in school. There is a large body of empirical evidence that demonstrates the effects of chronic stress on memory and the learning process. Rather than taking the children out of these communities, we have constructed prison like buildings for them to attend school. They routinely have gunfire drills reminding them that danger is never far behind.

Children cannot learn in this environment. This constant stress triggers "hot-memory." Hot memory can be thought of as learning with your heart and not your mind. It is no wonder children perform inadequately in this environment.

It is bad enough that children live in such conditions, must we educate in them too? If we want underprivileged children to learn and grow spiritually, we must create an environment that allows their cool memory systems to take over.

It is only under these conditions that children will permit themselves to learn and develop their intellectual strengths. We have failed to create a safe home environment for urban children, but we can give serious thought to creating a school environment outside of the community so they have fewer fear-driven hours each day.

Studies consistently report lower academic achievement in urban neighborhoods like Mott Haven in the South Bronx. Children growing up in urban neighborhoods have a much higher incidence of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Most researchers believe this to be the direct result of living in stressed communities plagued with street crime and violence. The potential impact of chronic stress on academic performance and achievement is not known, but reading scores in neighborhoods like Mott Haven certainly seem to indicate some type of causal relationship. There is virtually no research on looking at the long-term effects of this inflated incidence of PTSD among urban populations. It is important to develop an understanding of the effects of fear on the academic performance of urban adolescents so we can begin to dismantle the myths regarding school performance and minority children.

Under these conditions, it is not surprising to learn that students also report pervasive feelings of fear and do not feel secure despite the added presence of security personnel on school grounds. For these students, school is a mere extension of the violent communities in which they live.

Since urban communities have many different sources of stress, it is important to examine how school policies contribute to the learning environment in public schools. The quick response has been to install weapons detectors and hire school security for urban schools. The presence of school security certainly affects the climate of American public schools by establishing school environments that focus more on student behavior than student achievement. Together, the urban public school and the community it serves are a constant reminder of the poor living conditions and social reality of urban America.

The secured environment is an indication of the roles students are expected to play later in life. This is a lesson they will not soon forget.

Kozol makes it quite clear that there are several exceptional children in this community. There are probably as many exceptional children here as every other community around the country, yet, so few of them will make it out of the South Bronx. Kozol is careful not to dwell on the exceptional cases of children who successfully navigate their way into the main stream of society. Kozol does this so we do not develop a false sense of hope. If we cling to a few exceptional cases, we may come to believe that what we are giving enough to children like Anthony or Anabelle. Clearly, we can do more. Failure should be the exception-not the rule. Success should be the norm, and until it is, we should not give up hope for these children.

America claims to be dedicated to equal opportunity, yet equality is not sufficient in a community like Mott Haven. These kids need more. We need to think about equity, not equality. It is not enough to hide them away. These are visions we should never forget.

Welcome to America. The Wealthiest Nation in the World.

Reference: Kozol, Jonathan. (1995) Amazing Grace: The lives of children and the conscience of a nation. New York: Crown Publishing.

© 2012

🐧 A frisky penguin.



/ed70

Sunday, May 31, 2020

6 Steps Consumers Should Take Following a Hack

6 Steps Consumers Should Take Following a Hack

6 Steps Consumers Should Take Following a Hack

Without the luxury of an IT security team to help them after a breach or credit card compromise, consumers will want to keep these tips in mind.

Corporate employees typically have IT departments and security teams available to them when a breach takes place. But what about the everyday consumer? 

Anybody can be hacked or have a credit card compromised. According to Liz Lasher, vice president of fraud, financial crime and cyber risk at FICO, consumers can prevent that from happening just by taking better care of their passwords. She points to the recently released FICO Consumer Digital Banking study, which found only 42% of Americans said they use separate passwords to access multiple accounts and only 23% use a password manager.

"Consumers can report their incidents to the authorities, but they are better off taking practical, proactive steps to improve security," Lasher advises.

With that in mind, we've compiled a list of tips that consumers can use in the event of a breach, along with how to prevent future attacks. These tips also apply to anyone who runs a small business, or rank-and-file factory and retail workers who don't have corporate expense account jobs and access to highly trained security pros.

Steve Zurier has more than 30 years of journalism and publishing experience, most of the last 24 of which were spent covering networking and security technology. Steve is based in Columbia, Md. View Full Bio

More Insights



Elyssa 

Monday, May 4, 2020

Backcountry Lessons for Today’s World: Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

Backcountry Lessons for Today's World: Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

Lessons for Today's World: Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

I got this from my brother, and I'm so impressed how he integrates his love for extreme sports and applies basic survival skills to make #StayHome  a productive life lesson in resilience





Backcountry Lessons For Today's World: Tolerance For Adversity And Uncertainty

woman wearing orange hat and rain gear laughs while standing under a tarp near the water's edge in a rain storm
Photo by Oscar Manguy

The term "uncertainty" has become a buzzword as we navigate a new normal—practicing social distancing, adjusting to working remotely, supporting our kids as they begin online classes, and searching stores for toilet paper or disinfecting wipes. However, enduring unexpected challenges is not a new concept, especially for those of us who regularly adventure outdoors. Almost every trip into the backcountry has some kind of uncertainty and adversity, and the skills you learned there can apply to today's frontcounty.

Backcountry Lessons for Today’s World: Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

Backcountry Lessons for Today's World: Tolerance for Adversity and Uncertainty

Backcountry Lessons For Today's World: Tolerance For Adversity And Uncertainty

woman wearing orange hat and rain gear laughs while standing under a tarp near the water's edge in a rain storm
Photo by Oscar Manguy

The term "uncertainty" has become a buzzword as we navigate a new normal—practicing social distancing, adjusting to working remotely, supporting our kids as they begin online classes, and searching stores for toilet paper or disinfecting wipes. However, enduring unexpected challenges is not a new concept, especially for those of us who regularly adventure outdoors. Almost every trip into the backcountry has some kind of uncertainty and adversity, and the skills you learned there can apply to today's frontcounty.

Friday, May 1, 2020

Internet and phones shut off. This is a zero day. I need to fax Social…


Internet and phones shut off. This is a zero day. I need to fax Social Security but I don't have a fax app.

We need to file criminal charges this time.

I am going to send Karen a letter and tell her that her options are to either provide me with the documentation within 10 days which is really too late or I'm going to press criminal charges against the department of public welfare already intervened and they ruled in my favor.

Karen is so busy trying to make things look good she doesn't realize what she's leaving behind so I had to go through my student loans and being audited back to 2008 which is good she did this last time there's a stimulus I think there's someone else who also collected and filed taxes in my name probably like to either Amazon or I can't imagine what else it would be Amazon and my biometrics and medical records are available in plain text back to 2009.

PayPal is frozen all of my accounts are overdrawn so Karen is using me to get charity deductions and ladies that lunch.

They are even taking back my wheelchair.

Russian & Chinese are on my voice over. Ive been offline since October and yet there is major data accessed in that account.

I need a to go to AT&T and I need to trade in the faulty replacement with a battery.

My phone has 109,000 data points of the Trump apocalypse.

I'm surrounded by spies. I need a device that accepts my voice and not the Russians or Israelis CA but AT&T runs the NSA. I'm being blackmailed.
Residuals are frozen in Rubles. They always pick the worst time to fuck with me.

I can't get into my own tv Karen refuses to give me the pin and the Russians and Israelis have root CA and JlDF

Facebook pbpost is allChina has my fb.


My treatment insurance is cancelled my policy.
put kiddie locks on it.

Xxx




/ed70

Ray part II

Ray,

Karen told me the news. I can't tell you how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. I'm sure you are beyond devastated. There are no words that can soothe the pain and loss you are experiencing. Please know that you were a wonderful father and did everything within your power to help guide Loren through the many storms she encountered here on Earth. We are only here for a moment, many of us living moment to moment on borrowed time. It is bittersweet world we are living in and loss, grief, anger, regret are all part of our journey here on Earth.

May your Loren rest in eternal peace and it's going to be hard but find happiness, strength and beauty where you can for now. You will smile again.

I love you,

Elyssa


/ed70

With deepest sympathy

Ray,

I can't tell you how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. I'm sure you are beyond devastated. There are no words that can soothe the pain and loss you are experiencing.

Please know that you were a wonderful father and did everything within your power to help guide Loren through the many storms she encountered here on Earth.

We are only here for a short time, many of us living moment to moment on borrowed time. It is bittersweet world we are living in and loss, grief, anger, regret are all part of our journey.

May your Loren rest in eternal peace and it's going to be hard but find happiness, strength and beauty where you can for now. You will smile again.

I love you,

Elyssa


/ed70

I had to crawl on my back to open the door and couldn’t get into bed…

I had to crawl on my back to open the door and couldn't get into bed or bathroom. 

I can't feel my hands anymore and my ankle is getting worse. I am having clonus and myoclonic seizures on both sides of my body and I think my left foot is bleeding all over the floors right through my sock.

My pain is at 8/10 and I have a very high pain tolerance. I have no TV internet or wifi and it makes me sad that all the work WE have put in to get me on my feet again is so fragile and inconsistent.

I'm dropping things again like I was before Manzano and I dropped cranberries, my publxi fruits salad, gatorade, it spilled all over my newest iPhone and my clothing. I treated myself to pizza and angel hair on Wednesday and I dropped the glass bowl on the floor and it broke into a million pieces. 

I got my vitamins but I can't open them and as of right now I can't get move. 

Here is the report. Why aren't I in a cast? Where is the nurse i was promised? Where is the PT and OT I need? 








/ed70


/ed70