The very nature of being a crisis counselor, therapist, casemanager or any other kind of mental health porofessional requires that I respond with professionalism to kids who have been abused and basically fucked over for years; first by their families, and then by a system that fails to protect them. I get calls in the middle of the night from children, adolescents, and even my friends who are in vaiying stages of crises— some are suicidal^ psychotic, angry, and pretty much just all kinds of fucked up.
But today, TODAY!!!!
Today, a child rolled up her sleeves to show me that her set finflicted wounds (cutting) were beginning to heal. She threw out her last razor blade from her hidden collection the night before. Today, I won a small battle. Today, I saw a life change and the healing begin, Not just for her, but for aii of us. Today, I won a small battle.
As one of my former clients told me, what I do is important— because even though I may not change hundreds or thousands of lives every day of my life, I make a difference one life at a time. At the time, I couldn't: stop the tears from my eyes^ now I can't stop the warm feeling that has taken hold of my body and me I s ^anng instead of the tears.
Congratulations beaut gs'i, I am so very proud of you'1
From: Admin <dailyddose@gmail.com> Date: November 15, 2020 at 1:51:44 AM EST To: Dad
Subject:Re: Password reset requested for your Google Account
I didn't make this request, however you'll notice that I was able to bypass the password issue because I was able to get through the portal using alternative means (multi factor authorization) which is precisely why I'm beyond furious with Jonathan Gonzalez because he should have alerted me to critical security incidents which have been MANY.
I assume you saw the article I sent on Friday that Microsoft came out with a statement begging people to be aware of the huge security risk this poses and asked people to turn of 2MFA.
They also claim this is likely an attack from North Korea which is exactly what I reported to the FBI.
What's sad is that this kid is giving me attitude rather than just working WITH me since I'm pretty good at what I do.
I was able to pinpoint the exact dates and find derailed logs that support what I've been saying for over 10 years now.
There are too many examples and citations to catch you up at this late date. BUT, it is Jonathan's job to make himself aware of security vulnerabilities that place every person affiliated with TC Columbia University.
Since I contacted him I had the chance to catch up on my research and read the latest security trends and submit my current logs for further analysis.
There is absolutely no question that this goes back to my Columbia account and I had to hack my way in to take a further look.
I was able to bypass Microsoft , Google and Apple.
I of course filed a police report and now have additional information that they monetized my sites and are making a killing with Viagra ads and using my Amazon and Comcast accounts for malicious purposes.
They charged a fortune to my accounts, thus my shock and horror to see a negative balance in my bank account.
Do not reply to this email address as we know for certain it is HACKED!
Just so you know it will escalate through Thanksgiving and my iPad and other devices have been wiped and reset.
That's all for now.
I love you,
Liz
/ed70
On November 14, 2020, at 3:09 AM, Google <no-reply@accounts.google.com> wrote:
Password reset requested for your Google Account
Hi E.D.,
We recently received a request to recover the Google Account dailyddose@gmail.com.
If you sent that request, you don't need to take any action. We'll investigate your account and respond to you within a few days.
However, if you didn't make this request, please click on t[omitted] ro cancel ll it. The link will expire in 48 hours.
(If you've resolved your issue, that's great! In that case, please feel free to ignore this email.)
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, The Google Accounts Team
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I've been suspended from Columbia do you to their inability to work with me regarding a Unauthorized billing I just had a data breach that happened 11 years ago and ever since then they have just blown me off and now it's costing me about $350,000 and I've had enough I've got a file formal complaints on and they don't even bother to return my phone calls so I need to now I am verify and prove that I wrote these articles so that I don't have to now since they refuse to
Investing in the Ivy League: Is it worth the money? || Elyssa Durant, Ed.M. (c) 2008
View all posts by Chilleh Penguin
April 14, 2011
Investing in the Ivy League
Is it Worth the Money?
By Elyssa Durant
Is an Ivy League Degree Worth the Money?
Two days before the voter registration deadline, and another laptop goes missing. Only this time, it was not stolen by thieves or lost by the Election Commission. This time it was the Board of Education loaded up with the social security data and personal information of local school teachers.
The Tennesseean openly discusses the salary of Metro teachers in the July 6 edition of The Tennesseean. The reporter makes it sound like she has uncovered some profound secret: Teachers are underpaid. No shit?
The papers seem to gloss over the magnitude if the situation of teacher pay and mobility within Metro Nashville. I wasted a ton of money at Vanderbilt and almost as much in the Ivy League. By investing in a useless program and a worthless degree, I am the first to admit I have made some bad choices, but now I am asking for some advice. I CAN'T FIND A JOB! I can't afford to complete the application, or find transportation to get to an interview. I am beyond broke. I am so far in debt that I don't even bother to open my mail since it consists only negative balances, bank statements, and letters from collection agencies and the Department of Education. When I found out that someone recently used my social security number to open an account in Jersey City, I was thrilled at the prospect that my credit score might actually go up!
There are a plethora of young, talented individuals like myself who would be more than willing to work for MNPS or any other company if we could simply access the resources necessary to complete the application. We all know that teacher salary is ridiculous to begin with, so no kudos to the reporter at the Tennessean for pointing out the obvious.
Currently, I work part-time as an educator with a "Masters + 30" degree. I earn $10.46/hour before taxes and without benefits. That doesn't go far. Unfortunately, I simply cannot afford the fees associated with alternative certification.
I never dreamed that I would have to apply for a social services grant simply to find a job. I never thought about fees for fingerprinting, TB tests, official transcripts, examination fees, processing fees necessary to apply a position that really only requires a GED.
The bottom line is this: regardless of good intentions or misguided mentoring, I am a financial burden to you all. I pay taxes out of your taxes. I am absolutely convinced that there must be a better way to live than relying upon government subsidies to keep a roof over my head and Ramen noodles in my tummy.
I am not too proud to beg for a job or take some free advice if it will help me to get from here to there. I need someone, anyone, willing to give me a chance to prove myself.
Help become the person I was meant to be. Try to the see the person I could become. I have so much to contribute, but few resources get there. I believe I deserve more out of life than this, and I think that if you knew me, you would think so too.
This is the reality I live in. This is poverty. This is why I'm hoping that someone out there knows someone or some way that I can contribute more to society than what I am taking.
Relying upon the "welfare" of others is a terrible way to live especially when you have something to give back. I live so far beneath the poverty line, that I am willing to work for the necessities in life that I simply can not afford such as toothpaste and Internet access.
If anyone knows of some funds to help with the application fees associated simply to access community programs, grant based training programs, transportation, or Internet access for career resources, I will continue to be a leach on society.
I need someone to invest in ME!
I have sent similar letters to every agency and non-profit that I have ever "worked" for. Surely the AT&T cable bill could have included a measure to assist the disabled and economically challenged such as free online Internet access to Internet and the online interactive PDF application— also the only acceptable format by HR and Applicant Services for the State of Tennessee.
Surely one of these big companies coming to Tennessee can help by hiring one over educated, underemployed, and dedicated employee. All I need is a chance.
Feeling kind of yuck today. Have an insurance glitch. Well nightmare... they cancelled my health insurance again. It seems they always do that when I have an expensive procedure scheduled— so I have to change my radiology appointment tomorrow with my neurosurgeon.
Normally it would have me ragey shouting profanities and screaming my head off but today it just has me sad and overwhelmed.
Trying to balance my emotions through all these medication changes and hormonal changes (my body is starting to produce hormones on it's own again which is was not on the prednisone) is making my head spin.
It's not much fun for the people around me. Plus, the construction next door has really taken away my safe place that I go to and sit, read, and relax.
Now that the weather is cooling off I'll have to look for a nearby park I can go to and escape.
Trump is coming down this weekend so the protest season has begun. I'm having some trouble walking again but I can probably go in a wheelchair or take an Uber to our meeting place and use my big mouth for good.
I still can't fucking sleep. I'm having myoclonic seizures every few minutes and it's so damn uncomfortable. I'm trying really hard not to go to the emergency room.
This country is so fucked.
I'm still thinking about leaving while I still have a chance. I'm pretty sure the wall is meant to keep people from leaving.
I have a friend in Canada who can't gain entry to the US and we joke about getting married so I can just cross the border. We were going to escape to the Bahamas, hide out and go snorkeling but now the Bahamas are gone and somehow climate change became a reality.
I have a few hundred bucks and a passport. I just want to escape.
You don't know the whole story but this has become my theme song.
"Are you up in the middle of the night? Like a fire fly drawn to the light. You were there like a blow torch burning.
So tired I couldn't even sleep. Promised myself I wouldn't weep. Only so many secrets I can keep.
It seems no one can help me now, I'm in too deep, there's no way out. This time I have really lead myself astray.
Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile?
How on earth did I get so jaded? Seems life mystery has faded.
I can go where no one else can go. I know what no one else knows!!
Here I am just drowning in the pain with a ticket for a runaway train!!
Everything seems cut and dry. Day and night, Earth and sky.
Somehow I just don't believe it.
Runaway train never going back. Run away on a one way track. It seems I should be getting somewhere. Somehow I'm neither here nor there.
I bought a ticket on a runaway train. Like a madman laughing in the rain.
Run away cuz it always seems the same."
Who do I talk to now that you're gone??
And here come the tears. My god this is painful. And some times I feel like I'm just holding on by a thread. And my friend would say, "as long as you're still holding on."
He's gone too. My god this hurts. I can't have my body fail at the same time as my mind.
Time to dry my tears, pick myself up. Brush off a little dust and put my game face on.
A hacker gained access to 100 million Capital One credit card applications and accounts In one of the biggest data breaches ever, a hacker gained access to more than 100 million Capital One customers' accounts and credit card applications earlier this year.
I'd like to speak with you before I speak with Social Work about the prescriptions for DME (Durable Medical Equipment) eg Grab Bars, Rollator Walker, Wheelchair Rental for 6 months; Hip Kit etc.
Karen claims she wants to speak with the Social Worker or Discharge Planner which ain't going to happen, period.
She then asked to speak with you since you are my Health Care Proxy (which she is still mad about)
They put it through to insurance and I have a hard copy of the prescriptions in my hands.
We may also need to speak with Seth since there is no ramp and the building is not ADA accessible. Obviously, I'm not the best person to communicate with Seth regarding this issue but I also cannot open or navigate the fire doors in my wheelchair or walker.
They expect me to use a wheelchair in an abundance of caution because I am an extreme fall risk with a Berg Balance Score of 16. You need to be a 51 to be cleared to walk with a walker.
I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and will have to go alone which has me extremely concerned for obvious reasons. I also need to see my primary care provider this week which is the same provider Karen drove me too several months ago after discussing it with you lol.
I am making excellent progress (much better than expected) but the stress and pain is unnecessary and complicating my recovery.
I am now home bound for 10 weeks with the brace on until Urakov clears me with radiology.
I have additional radiology ordered in Boca this week or next and I will arrange medical transportation for that.
Please advise as I will be speaking with Social Work tomorrow and Karen identified herself as a social worker and bypassed all the HIPPA and security blocks because she's so damn fucking charming (oy)
Spike with Ray for quite some time yesterday and he will be hack by the end of the month which is a huge relief and lifeline since he sees Karen for what she is and has the balls to call her on her bullshit; however he is still grieving the loss of his daughter and I don't want to put to much pressure on him.
I call him "Uncle Ray" now because he has been tremendously good to me throughout this drama that started shortly after I moved here in October of 2012.
You want to block me? I've been trying to block you since I was 22 unsuccessfully. You have absolutely no respect for my boundaries or health limitations.
You claim that you built an apartment for me, well how could you possibly do that when you have absolutely no idea what my daily ADLs (activities of daily living) are like.
How many times did you visit me while I was in New York City at Columbia?
EXACTLY ZERO.
How many times did you visit me in Nashville while I was at Vanderbilt?
EXACTLY ZERO.
How many times did you visit me in Palm Beach when you literally live down the street?
EXACTLY ZERO!
How many times did you visit me in the hospital or rehab post surgery in 2018?
EXACTLY ZERO!!
How many times did you visit me in the hospital or rehab post surgery in 2020?
EXACTLY ZERO!!
You can "block" me all you want, but you can't block the truth.
"Asked once why he wanted to be a writer, he responded: "I knew that I wanted to be a writer because I wanted to do something that had the potential to outlast my own death." -Ned Vizzini 1981-2013
Around 9 pm I received a flood of comments (62) on a small site I rarely use or visit.
It struck me as odd until a dear friend called me just before midnight to tell me that my dear friend, Ned Vizzini had taken his own life at age 32 leaving behind a small child from his parent's Park Slope home yesterday.
I encourage you to read these comments. Very interesting and some disturbing. They were from a forum that has not always been kind to me. I publish the bad with the good so you see how cruel and ignorant people can be.
It was an article about someone who committed suicide due to financial stress.
I can relate to that. I am worth more dead than I am alive to many people and will cross post this late post on Barbara's site where I can speak more freely and expect criticism for being a burden on society.
I know what it is like to want to die. To feel that the pain of another 40-50 years is too much to bear.
I am not suicidal but I have been told my life is worthless and I should do the "honorable thing" and end my own life.
It ain't gonna happen.
I may not be perfect, but I have fought too hard for too long to give up on myself.
I'm not easy, but I am not cruel.
I am just finding my way after living through a horrific event that changed my life forever.
I'm not always nice or cheery or lovable but I am honest and probably the most loyal person you will ever meet.
Both PTSD and their respective diagnoses (Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissist and lack of insight ~ clinically) means that I'm "triggered" emotionally AND physically with muscle guarding and vascular reactions that cause pain and numbness.
I did biofeedback when I was at Columbia so I'm AWARE of what's going on but I'm not able to control the physiological response and Karen calling me and my doctors and nurses despite a HIPPA block and a security alert (Good Sam and Psych) doesn't keep her from calling and weaseling her way into my life and since she's so "charming" and tells people she's a social worker, they gave her information, my room number AND my penguin necklace (my favorite thing in the world) and she stole money, FOOD, jewelry and gifts people sent me from and returned them to Amazon and Bed Bath and Beyond and didn't give me the credit and they were special gifts. She disconnected my cell phone several times; withdrew me from school TWICE (when I was 15 and she claims I "ran away" when she mailed you my stuff; changed the locks; quit my job and withdrew me from school without telling me; and twice from Columbia and tried at Vanderbilt)
She stole gifts from Grandma and Earrings; and Aurora penguin my friend who died from COVID sent from Scotland; Texas; and Kentucky) and it's so far beyond the scope of normal I can't tell you how disturbing it is.
I know intellectually that this is beyond fucked up but my body doesn't know and I'm now having terrible symptoms ~ dizziness and profuse sweating just writing this) and Radiology and Neurosurgery is here; so I'm going to leave it at that.
They i'm going to address the thyroid issue that has come up the glucose the Doppler and electrocardio gram they want to do for my legs and feet however I need to go because I'm having an acute stress response I need to be clearheaded and calm for the evaluations.
I realize of course you don't need to hear this George does anybody else who comes into my room or the doctors and this prevents me from developing healthy relationships and receiving proper treatment for my physical and psychological issues.
Certainly I need therapy and I need to do mindfulness training again possibly biofeedback but certainly treatment for my PTSD.
Writing it down or verbalizing it helps me and has been recommended by my previous therapist and the one who treated me when I was 29 and had my first nervous break down.
you have the ability to control your consciousness and tune her out. I do not and she calls and texts incessantly with total disregard for my boundaries and shows up uninvited.
Just quickly to give you a brief Concrete example of her behavior since I've been in the hospital she went to my apartment throughout my couch my bookcase and my desk I've only been here for three days Concrete example of her behavior since I've been in the hospital she went to my apartment throughout my couch my bookcase and my desk I've only been here for three days.
That's all for now I'm sorry to throw this at you but these are very important thanks if it requires a restraining order I'm prepared to do that but she has no business disposing of my personal items including sign books from my former academic mentors or my friend Ned Vizzini Who committed suicide but dedicated his NY Times best seller, "It's kinda a funny story" Me and gave me an autographed copy. Karen threw it out. That cannot be replaced.
For Lauren and then her OCD I have no idea what's wrong with her all I know is she's inappropriate and shows really disturbing signs a sibling rivalry I'm too old for that shit.
This is for both my journal and for when I get into therapy. As you know I wrote a book about Karen and her abuse and exploitation of my physical and emotional condition so that she could get sympathy and adoration from her friends dog sitter and the public at large.
Have to go now the medical professionals are waiting for me and I'm still in both spasm and sweating profusely.
Love you and Rita.
Doing the very best I can.
Love,
Liz 📧😘🐧
On Sat, Sep 19, 2020 at 8:18 AM Dad> wrote:
Just Put them out of mind. Nothing good will come from focusing on them.
> On Sep 19, 2020, at 7:55 AM, Liz wrote:
>
>
> The psychotic mother person had the nerve to send me photos of her Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) party; didn't wish me a L'Shanah Tovah and then said she was too tired from entertaining to speak to me about the STAT medical testing and referral ordered at 8:47pm last night.
>
> Lauren was equally inappropriate and has been "competing" with me and told me she was paralyzed and incontinent from Lyme Disease and it's bizarre, offensive, dismissive and infuriating.
>
> But that's why I need a trauma specialist and ganglion block injections. I have a visceral response to their inappropriate behavior and the stress and PTSD triggers muscle spasms which in turn causes muscle guarding and tension affecting my neuro symptoms which both painful and counterproductive for my recovery.
